So my test results from last Friday’s biopsy came back positive. Shit. I have breast cancer. Before you start making me a casserole – let me tell you what I know + where we are:
- My left breast tested positive for infiltrating ductal carcinoma.
- It is “teeny tiny” according to my OB at .6 cm in length.
- I have been tested for the BRCA gene could take up two weeks to get results.
- I will have an MRI next week.
- I am seeing a few surgeons in the city and Marin to discuss a plan. It’s likely I will have 2 options: a lumpectomy followed by radiation or a bilateral mastectomy followed by reconstruction. There may be chemo involved.
- After surgery I will get treatment by an oncologist.
- They caught this really early as this tumor was not on the mammogram from February. The 2nd biopsy for the calcifications came back negative.
- We’ve told the kids.
I have a mixed range of emotions that changes almost hourly: disbelief, shock, determination and anxiety – but an overwhelming strong sense that I will tackle this the way I take charge of everything in my life – from my fantasy football team to reorganizing my closet and managing my kids’ packed calendars – by immersing myself with the facts, studying it from all angles, and analyzing the crap out of it. Oh, and I also have a rock solid support system in my family and friends like you all!
So what can you do for me? Allow me to joke about having cancer, indulge me in some ridiculous fantasy trades (I need a RB), treat me the same way you always do, don’t be afraid if I go from laughing to crying in a nanosecond and hold off on the dinners, Helping Hands and other helpful tasks for now.
I need some time for Mike and I to get our heads wrapped around this, and come up with a plan. I know tough times lay ahead and I will absolutely lean on all of you for support, prepared foods, driving and picking up my kids, and holding my hand. But not just yet. Honest. I’ve only just got a taste, but things have a way of working in the cancer world more slowly than my normal “get ‘er done” agro pace. It’s going to be a big lesson in patience that’s for sure.
In the meantime, please don’t be offended if I don’t return your calls or emails right away – I’m not hibernating – I’m just “talked out” at the moment. I know you love me and right back at all of you. I know you want to help and we will absolutely reach out and take you up on your kind and generous offers when we know more. For reals.
What I will accept? Your friendship, support, advice on must-watch new shows for fall season, fab book reccos, and an occasional ride to schlep my kids around while I may have Dr’s appointments.