Like most everyone I know, I lead a fairly busy life. Jam-packed with managing the home, the kids’ schedules, meals, the dog’s poop schedule, M’s dry cleaning, my many and varied volunteer commitments, as well as more trivial and guilty pleasure responsibilities such as staying on top of my DVR so it doesn’t get too full, managing my fantasy football team, online “window” shopping, and helping friends cleaning out their closets and make packing lists. I just don’t have TIME for cancer! Seriously. It’s hard enough navigating the delicate balance of life and kids and other commitments, but this cancer thing has (rightly so) relegated everything else to the back seat.
When was the last time I went to the market? Made a home-cooked meal? Dropped off one of M’s shirts to the dry cleaner? Read an entire book? Watched an episode of Scandal? Driven the carpool to soccer? Sigh.
There’s a lot to do, and a lot of information to take in, and a lot of decisions to make. And it seems that they grew inversely larger with each direction I take that it appears to develop into one ginormous Algebra problem: If:
A + B = C
C + D = X1
E + F = X2
X1 = X2
solve for x
What the ?
The thing is, I’m a type true Type A Organized Planner who is facing something for which it’s hard to plan. This is essentially, the heart of my struggle and what I’m grappling with. I like to make lists; I crave the expected; I thrive with a well-honed plan. So it’s a lesson in patience and a lesson in bravery and thankfully, it’s not a lesson in Alegbra. If it were that, I’d be sure to fail.