My college room mate L had a baby 7 months before I had the guys. So when she shared with me this golden morsel of advice, I leaned in and listened:
“When you go to the hospital to have the baby, check your dignity and your underpants at the door.” (She was totally right!)
Yesterday was a crazy long day! Thanks to M who updated the blog and W who uploaded it while I was in recovery. I was very lucky to have such great doctors and nurses who took such great care of me. I was back in my room around 4:30 or 5. What struck me most more than the pain itself, was the anxiety about throwing up (I didn’t) combined with the increased major grogginess (very loopy). I had been given a lovely cocktail of Tylenol, an on-demand pain pump (PCA for those in the know) while I “came down” from the anesthesia. The result was that I couldn’t keep my eyes open enough to read, but I couldn’t pass out from exhaustion either.
[note to Jeff Sloan I would have happily posted in my then-current state of loopy ness but alas an unexpected side effect of the anesthesia was loss of fine motor skills.]
M left around 7:30 so that he could be home and spend time with the kids before they went to bed. And that’s when Adventures in Hospitaland began aka: How Many People does it take to assist JG pee?
On day 1, the nurses didn’t want to push me too much to get out of bed which provided a small challenge when it came to peeing. I had used a catheter during the surgery. But it had been removed in recovery.
“Don’t worry, we’ll set you up with a bed pan,” my nurse J said.
So she called for assistance and in comes a male nurse. Assistance? Male Nurse? The words are swirling around in my already loopy brain. And I try to act all casual when they instruct me to roll over and then they pull up my hospital gown and place a bed pan under my bottom, place the blankets over me and tell me I’m all set.
Underpants? Gone. Dignity? Also gone.
Alas, but I experienced a little stage fright and couldn’t perform on demand and in public after all, it felt like peeing the bed! When I was finished, I rang my call bell, and they came back in, lifted me up and took the own away. And this is where it got really fun – then they took out warm bath cloths and wiped me front to back. Yes. I will repeat that. All over. And then with a dry towel. All the while – no undies.
My night sleep was brief but heavy. At 5am, my bladder woke up me up and we did the 3-ring circus pee routine again. By this time my dignity was miles behind me I’m the rear view mirror.
And undies? Turns out I did leave them at home!
And speaking of home, the plan is that I am going home tomorrow. So it’s another night here. Did you know that CPMC offers meals through a Room Service Menu which lists carb servings per selection? And that we watched Dirty Dancing last night? Nope. I’m not leaving.