moving and shaking but not filling

Call me whatever you want, but I’m a rule follower. M and I have enjoyed some super fun banter when I’ve had to explain why he needs to wear a coat and tie to an event, the best method for getting tangles out of Miss J’s hair, or what day of the week to avoid a Sushi restaurant.

“Because, it’s The Rule,” I explain, as if that needs no further clarifying. 

“Oh, it is? Is it? The rule?” he quizzes me.

“Yes, The Rule.”

Yep. ‘Nuff Said.

So when my breast surgeon, plastic surgeon and oncologist said to take it easy. I followed suit. And when my oncologist recommended that I begin light exercise and stressed the importance of maintaining a healthy body weight to prevent recurrence, I again took note. ‘Light’ meant walks, hikes, and stretches. No skiing, no tennis, no pilates, no weight lifting, and no heavy cardio for me. So imagine my surprise when I asked my surgeon when I would be able to play tennis and he gave me his stamp of approval to get back on the courts.

[Clearly, I must have clued him into my sneaky baby-soft serve and that is why he’s not worried about my injuring myself. That would be SO like me, to yammer away in the O/R pre-anesthesia giving away all my trade secrets.]

So the last two days have seen me at Lululemon buying 2 new tops for my baby breast buds,  (after years of removing the pads from these tops, I’m finally putting them to good use!) the Bay Club learning a few new stretching moves and a couple of machines that are good for regaining range of motion in my arms and shoulders, and (drum roll please) in my tennis whites ready for some action. I was not only nervous about how the racquet would feel in my hand, but how the vibration of the ball would feel against my arms. Would I reach to make a shot and hurt myself?

I needn’t have worried. I felt perfectly fine. OK there were a few moments that I felt a small twinge of pain, but it went away quickly and I was very careful to stretch before and after. I’m beyond thrilled with this development, as it feels like some of the pieces of my old life are slowly finding their way back.

And so it was the giddiness of my foray back into the fitness world that kept me from having a complete meltdown at Dr K’s office this afternoon when he delivered the unfortunate news that he wasn’t going to fill my expanders today.

Wait, what?

Yep, the D word, as in Delay. He doesn’t like the look of a spot on my left breast which is slightly reddish which is an indicator that something isn’t completely healing. So no fills today.  I don’t go back for 2 more weeks.

So in an effort to dilute the impact of this unexpected development on my fragile emotional self, I conjure up an image of something that fills me with joy: tennis, yay!

Isn’t there a rule somewhere about redirection to achieve positive behaviors? I’m sure there is, as I’m following it.



ps. Big news for Mammaprint today as a published study validates the test’s ability to predict long-term breast cancer outcome. Read about it here. 




2 Responses

  1. Jennifer, I’m so glad you’re back on the courts. Yes doing everything you used to do and love is important. I’m sorry about the fill today. As the resident planner as you said our family is planned out for everything, I know this is a step backwards on the calendar but not in your recovery and how beautiful the outcome will be. I’m glad you are taking everything in stride. I know it’s easier said then done!!

  2. So sorry to hear about your delay Jen, but really happy to hear about the tennis!! That’s fantastic news and will keep your spirits up. Love from the Werners. xo

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